Aishiteru, Killua
by Ironic-Sarcasm
Summary: Killua always felt something was special about Gon. After a while, he realized he loved Gon. When he tells Gon how he feels, he finds a pleasant surprise. Warnings: Yaoi. GonKillua. Oneshot.


_Hey, my first HunterxHunter story! Hey, my second yaoi! Yay! I've been reading HunterxHunter fanfics for the past few weeks…. There aren't any good M rated ones. They are all T, and they don't go very far. So, I took the liberty to write an M rated Gon and Killua story. No one can seem to imagine these two having sex…. Almost like Killua in their minds don't want to defile Gon. XD My, I want to. I'm gonna take that innocence and SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! Okay, keyboard. My next yaoi is going to be between Leorio and Kurapika! Although, I want Kurapika for myself (he's only a year older then me…) I must sacrifice him to my fangirl desires. _

_I've also noticed this section is over-run with fangirls such as me. There are no males. Only females. And 85 percent of it is romance. Some good, some… not so good. As in bad writing. I only found one LeoPika romance, and it was crap! It was three sentences! (Something about having sex in a hot air balloon/crack)_

_Poor boy HunterxHunter fans…. If they read anything on this site, they would be ashamed. _

_Okay, I'm done with my fangirl rant/monologue. I had hot green tea. Don't ask. Okay, disclaimer time (prepare for more crack)._

_**In no way, shape, or form do I own HunterxHunter. It belongs to one man, and one man alone and that man is married to Naoko Takeuchi (the creator of Sailor Moon,) so he is God. Yoshihiro Togashi. ALL HAIL TOGASHI-SAMA! **_

_**Although, if I did own it, it would become an incredible shonen ai. And by shonen ai, I mean SMUT! Togashi-sama would smite me if he read this….**_

_**WARNING! MATURE THEMES! **_

_**WARNING! JAPANESE LANGUAGE USED!**_₪

* * *

_Aishiteru, Killua _

Killua and Gon had been friends for over five years now. They were best friends. They were inseparable. Of course, to Killua, that wasn't the _exact_ case, but we'll get into that later.

After Gon had met his father with Killua, life had been quite boring. They spent most of their time helping Kurapika track down the Genei Ryoden. That wasn't needed as of two years ago.

Of course, being seventeen, they were restless. They went to more battling arenas, more uncharted islands, and even more unknown places where few dare to tread. Being Hunters, they had to keep up, find new places and things. They found rare elements that could be added to chocolate to make it taste "a billion times better," (Killua's idea) and they even found treasures. But, they had done all of that within a year. They grew bored and tiresome. They rejoined Leorio, who had become a doctor and was working in a hospital for children and teens, and Kurapika, who had gathered all of the Kurta clans' eyes in a year and a half. They shared a small house with in York Shin suburbs, the four of them have.

Gon and Killua walked back to the house, carrying bags of groceries.

"Ne, Killua…" Gon started. Killua knew what was coming by the tone of his voice, but replied anyway with a small, "Yeah?"

Gon looked from Killua to the ground and back again sheepishly. "Who did the shopping for your family?" It wasn't a stupid question, in fact, it was a very good question considering Mike, the guard dog, and the acres and acres of forest.

Killua had to force down a laugh or heavy sigh. He wasn't sure which was harder to stifle. "The guardsmen would go to town once a month and clean out an entire food market. Then the butlers would deliver it to the main house."

"Really?" Gon's voice was amazed. "How did the other people get food? Would they get pissed? I'm surprised you didn't get any lawsuits!"

Again, Killua had to suppress a laugh or a sigh. "No, they knew it would come, so the stores had to order double the normal stock. They knew they'd get paid well. We don't ever get change back."

Gon stared at Killua in amazement. Killua noticed a girl walking in the opposite direction as the two. He observed the short skirt and the exposed cleavage. Killua's grin was cat-like as walked backwards and watched the girl walk from behind. Observing her butt, he let out a whistle. "Really hot chick, don't you think?"

Gon glanced at her briefly before letting out a small "Mmhmm." Killua rolled his eyes as he turned towards the road they were on once more. "You're no fun when it comes to girl watching."

Gon shrugged, "I'm just not into looking at girls yet. And all I really need is my best friend, Killua."

--

The duo arrived home and watched Kurapika and Leorio unpack the groceries and put them away. When they were done, Kurapika turned to them with an annoyed expression. "You both did pretty good… accept you forgot the one thing that we really needed: Milk."

Killua and Gon hit their foreheads. "Chikushou! Sorry Kurapika," Killua said earnestly.

"Killua, go back and get milk." Kurapika ordered him. "Gon, stay here and do the dishes."

Gon looked at the pile of dishes in the sink and his eyes widened. "Can't Killua do the dishes?" When his eyes met Kurapika's he jumped and ran to the sink, starting the dishes.

Killua stood up and stretched. "What about you guys? What chores did _you_ do?"

"_I_ cleaned the living room and bathroom." Leorio said, pointing to himself. "Kurapika cleaned the bedrooms."

Killua sighed as he made his way towards the back door. He knew how hard it must have been to clean his and Gon's room. It looked like a tornado hit it before the boys left the house.

"I'm goin', I'm goin'."

--

As he walked down the sidewalk, towards the market, he whistled to himself. He wondered why he felt off himself. Killua hadn't changed much since he was twelve, when he first met Gon. Sure, he learned so much more, but his personality hadn't changed as well as what he was. Killua was an assassin. He had the blood running through his veins and mind. The teenage boy always had to keep his killer instincts in check all the time accept when he was with Gon. Gon was the only one that kept his mind away from killing. The words from five years ago ran through his head, _"You don't have to kill, Killua."_

_But, that's who I am, Gon._ Killua thought miserably. _It's in my blood… It's in my name…._ Killua knew Gon didn't want him to kill anymore, so he tried his best not to. He heard a scream up ahead that snapped the boy out of his thoughts. He ran towards the dark alley and peered around the corner. He saw a man was pulling at a woman's purse and dress. His aura was malicious and maniacal, but not that of a Nen user.

Killua entered the alley, walking in the direction of the man and crying woman, "Oi, you!"

The man glanced at Killua and shouted, "Beat it, kid! This is none of your business!" The man was carrying a blade on him that he was threatening the woman with. Killua gave a small smirk as he hid his eyes with his white bangs. He had to keep his bloodlust in check. He started for the man without fear; this man was no threat, at least not to Killua.

"Hey, what did I tell you?" The man pulled out a gun and aimed it at Killua.

"To slow," Killua was behind the man with razor-sharp fingernails against the back of his neck. The man became stiff as a drop of blood leaked down his neck and onto his back. The gun and knife slipped out of the others hands. Killua whispered into the stranger's ear, "I can kill you in point-five seconds. I wouldn't threaten me."

The potential robber ran off quickly and Killua retracted his claws. He stepped up to the woman. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," the lady sounded relieved. "I—" Before she could say anymore, Killua started walking away.

"Excuse me, young man, I'd like to—" The expression of horror crossed her face as she saw Killua's eyes. His ocean-blue eyes were deadly and threatening. She backed up and fell on her tail as Killua ran off.

Killua stood against the wall of the store, trying to catch his breath and get a grip. He still had the scent of the man in his nose. He wanted to track him down and kill him.

"Milk…. Right, I need to get milk…." Killua told himself. He quickly bought the milk and dashed home. As he ran, he caught a whiff and a familiar thief's aura.

--

"Hey, Killua what took you so long?" Leorio asked from behind a newspaper in the kitchen.

"Long line," he replied quickly as he closed the refrigerator. He went to the cupboards and started searching, he wasn't sure for what exactly, but just to give him something to do.

"Killua!" Gon entered the room with a bag of chips in hand. Killua turned to him, getting the urge to be comforted by him—to hug him and cry into his shoulder, hoping he'd understand what just happened. Killua didn't want to kill anymore, but he couldn't help it. Instead, Killua pounced on Gon and hid his hug in a headlock, his tears in a noggie. "That's where the chips went!"

Gon struggled with Killua, "Nya! Killua!" Gon whined like a child, "Stop! I'll share!"

Killua grabbed the bag of chips and shoved a handful into his mouth. "Let's play videogames!"

They raced to their room with a bottle of soda and a few bags of chips. The duo kicked off their socks and shoes and dropped into bean-bag chairs. They sat in the room playing mindless videogames for hours.

After a while, a knock came to the door. Kurapika peeked into the room, "Its five o'clock." He announced.

"Thanks, Kurapika," Gon said as he pressed the start button. Gon saved the game and Killua turned the system off. They sat on the wooden floor and closed their eyes. Gon and Killua agreed on a set time everyday to practice their Nen, Ten, and Hatsu. They had no time limit when it came to practicing. They only stayed quiet and let their aura flow with them.

As Killua let the Nen flow smoothly around him, he thought about things. The man he had just killed and how Gon would react to it. He promised Gon years ago he wouldn't kill if it wasn't necessary. Gon would hate him. That would be the worst thing in the world.

Gon was not only Killua's best friend, but his life. If Gon left him, Killua would cease to exist in this world. Gon was everything Killua wanted to be, everything he was not. Gon was his complete opposite but also his missing piece. Killua didn't really care about the girls; that was just a cover. If he could be in a relationship with anyone, it wouldn't be the most beautiful girl in the world; it would be clumsy, clueless Gon. Killua, oh sure, he liked girls and they were nice, but Gon was special. Gon gave him butterflies and made him feel wanted. He never got that with his family.

Killua knew he liked Gon as more then a friend for a very long time. At first, it was awkward, but then his lying nature kicked in and nothing was suspected by anyone. Killua didn't think that relationships were in Gon's mind… ever. Gon more then likely only thought of Killua as his best friend. That made Killua's heart sink. He wished more then anything that Gon would like him the same way that Killua liked him.

--

"Killua, you're Ten is getting sloppy." Gon pointed out.

Killua let out a deep breath and let go for a moment. He glanced at the clock that read seven forty-two pm. "Sorry Gon, I have a lot of things on my mind."

Gon opened one eye to look at his friend. "Like what?"

"You don't want to hear it," Killua mumbled. Gon jumped in front of him and stopped just inches from his face. "Tell me!"

Killua blushed lightly. "I told you, you don't want to hear it." Killua's voice was steady. He tried not to let it break from embarrassment.

"I do! Tell me!" Gon insisted. "We've been friends for five years now! You can tell me anything."

Gon, ever the optimist; Killua, ever the pragmatist—they would never fit. Killua knew that. Killua kicked Gon at least three feet away and said, "No way."

Gon gave Killua a slightly hurt look. "Killua, if something is bothering you so much and it's screwing around with your Ten, I want to know."

Killua gulped at the face Gon was giving him. It gave him the look of the twelve-year-old again. He caved: "Do you really want to know?" Gon nodded vigorously. Killua took a deep breath. "Gon, daisuki."

Gon's face fell somewhat, as if he was expecting more. "Daisuki, Killua!"

Killua smacked his face in his hand before he crawled closer to Gon. "No, Gon, I mean daisuki _desu_."

"I really like you too, Killua. You're my best friend." Gon just wasn't getting it. Killua growled and pulled at his hair.

"No, no, Gon!" Killua groaned and fell on his back. "Just forget it."

Gon's face appeared, covering the ceiling. "What are you trying to get at?"

Killua blew a raspberry. "You don't understand, Gon! You probably won't ever understand!" Killua rolled over on the floor, looking away from Gon. He mumbled, "Maybe its better you don't…."

Gon, again, was in his face. "Maybe you can show me what you mean."

Killua's face burned. "If I did, you'd hate me."

Gon laughed, "I can't hate you, Killua. Like I said, you're my best friend."

Killua covered his eyes with his white bangs and groaned. "That's just it. It's _because_ you're my best friend that you'll hate me."

A pair of warm hands moved his own away from his face. Gon's brown eyes were of concern. "If it really bothers you, I can forgive you. Even if you do something I don't like."

Killua peeked at Gon. "Are you sure?" Gon nodded. Killua thought for a moment and sighed. He sat up, closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and leaned towards Gon. He pressed his lips softly on his best friend's, waiting for a response. Any response. A push, a kick, (hopefully a kiss back). When no response came, Killua backed up, looking away, ashamed.

"Was that it?" Gon's voice was light… happy. "Was that what bothered you?" Killua nodded, embarrassed. This was horrible! Gon was unphased! Chances were he didn't know what a kiss meant.

The finger on Killua's chin forcing him to face the brunette was gentle. "I like you too, Killua." Gon leaned forward and pressed his lips on Killua's with a little more force. Killua's eyes popped. Gon _did_ like him! The attraction between them was mutual! Killua smiled into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Gon. The kiss deepened when Killua bent over Gon and straddled his hips.

The two boys were competing again… for dominance. Killua was winning by a long shot. He started tugging at Gon's shirt, itching for it to come off. They broke apart briefly to remove their shirts. Killua ran his hands over the soft muscles on Gon's chest and stomach. Gon held Killua's face in his hands, desperate not to break apart again.

--

To Gon, Killua was like oxygen. They didn't need to breathe real air, just each others. Gon always liked Killua. Killua was just the sort of person Gon was attracted to like a magnet—or rather, the type of people that he attracted. The friendship between them was very strong, but Gon always thought it would be nothing more. He didn't mind. As long as Killua was by his side, he didn't care what they were.

Truth was Gon loved Killua. He loved him more then anything. He'd _die_ for Killua. But, he couldn't stay that! Killua only said that he_ liked_ him. That meant just more then a friend.

--

Killua never expected the two to be in this position. The two were locked together, tangled in each other's grasp. Killua held Gon's shoulder's down as he sat up, gasping for breath.

"Ne… G-Gon," Killua panted. Gon looked up at him. His cheeks were tinted pink from the blood rush of kissing. His gravity-defying hair finally came in for a landing, and boy, was it a mess. Killua gulped, catching his breath. He prepared himself mentally for his next suggestion. "G-Gon… do you think… we could…" he trailed off and lost his next words. Gon's innocent, curious expression was all too cute for Killua to handle. His face burned, as he mumbled the last two words, "go farther?"

Gon's face darkened at this as much as Killua's. "Y-You mean…?" Killua nodded solemnly. "B-But… I don't even know how to…"

Killua let go of Gon's shoulders and stroked the black hair on Gon's head. "I have an idea of how to… it's not that hard, but it might hurt."

Gon pondered briefly before he nodded, consenting to allow Killua to have his way with him. Killua lifted Gon off of the carpeted floor and carried him to one of the two beds in the room they shared. He undid Gon's pants and pulled them down with his underwear. It wasn't anything he hasn't seen before… they used to bathe together all the time… that is, until Killua realized his feelings for Gon. He didn't trust himself with his naked best friend. But now, it wasn't a problem.

Killua pulled off his own pants and boxers, straddled Gon and kissed up his neck. Killua nibbled at Gon's ear and the younger gasped. Killua felt Gon harden. He smirked as he licked Gon's ear and heard a resulting groan. Killua traced his fingers along Gon's waist and around to his back. He reached a crevice and grabbed at a cheek.

The silver haired boy sighed and sat up feeling guilt weigh in his chest. "Gon, I'm sorry…."

Gon peeked at him through his eyelashes, "For what?"

Killua brushed a few locks of silver hair out of his eyes, "I… I don't want to hurt you, Gon. I _know_ this is going to hurt. I don't want it to hurt… especially you."

Gon only beamed up at the fretting teen. "I don't care, Killua." Gon reached up and held Killua's neck in his strong, calloused, but gentle hands. "I don't care if you hurt me, Killua. In fact, I _want_ you to hurt me if it will bring us closer together." Gon stretched up and pecked Killua on the cheek, as if reassuring him.

Killua contemplated what Gon had said and grinned at the clueless boy. Killua snuggled his face into the crook of Gon's neck and inhaled his scent. He whispered "thank you" to him as he inserted a finger into Gon's entrance. Gon's hips bucked and his eyes widened in surprise. Killua wrapped his other arm around Gon's shoulders as he inserted a second finger and scissored the opening wider. Gon grabbed at Killua's back in pain, scratching with his stubby fingernails.

--

Killua positioned their hips ready to enter Gon. Gon's cheeks were tinged pink as he held back a whimper of pain. He saw Killua's eyebrows knitted together. "Gon?"

"Just do it, Killua!" Gon snapped. He didn't care about the pain; he didn't care about the pain he knew was coming. All he wanted was to grow even closer to Killua, and maybe… just maybe he can tell Killua "Aishiteru." Maybe, just maybe, Killua could say it back.

--

Killua entered Gon and the boy yelped out. Killua wanted to fuss, but his body said, "NO JUST GO ON!" He couldn't deny his body. Killua pumped into Gon's body and the boy's hips thrust forward. Something seemed to be hit that caused an involuntary reaction with Gon's groin.

--

Gon moaned as the pain he expected to feel turned into the most pleasurable sensation he ever experienced. Killua hit that spot again as he thrust into him. Gon's face heat up as his lower body felt something it never felt before.

Gon finally got the closeness he was hoping to obtain being with Killua.

--

Killua collapsed beside Gon. Gon played with Killua's white hair as he panted. Killua drew little circles on Gon's chest. He chuckled as he looked up at Gon. "We're gonna be all sticky."

"Maybe we should take a shower," Gon sniggered. Killua noted how innocent his voice was as he said this. He sighed deeply when he also noted how there was no sexual intention behind it. He got up and grabbed their underwear. Killua threw Gon's boxers and undershirt at his face before he put his own pair on.

"Killua?"

"Yeah?" Killua scratched his nose thinking Gon might say something stupid about what had just happened.

"Killua… I… Ah… erm…." Gon fumbled with the hem of his shirt, furrowing his brows.

Killua looked at the troubled boy. "What's up Gon?"

"Killua…. I… uh… it's nothing." Gon brushed it off. Killua cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Tell me." He ordered.

"We should do that again some time!" Gon exclaimed. "That was a lot of fun!"

Killua turned to his lover and took notice to the grin on Gon's face. "Of course," Killua agreed.

"Only…." Gon said, drawing the word out. "I want to be on top next time!"

"What?!" Killua faced him so quickly, he could have sworn he would get whip-lash. "No way!"

"But Killua!" Gon whined. "I wanna be on top!"

"Like hell!"

The door opened with a creak and the hall light poured into the dark room. "Guys, it's eleven. You need to go to bed."

Gon was over in front of Leorioin an instant, "Leorio! Can I ask you something?" Killua was surprised Gon could move so much and so fast after hours of... well, you get it.

Leorio, who was taken aback by the suddenness that was Gon, nodded. "Go ahead, sport."

"Who do you think should be on top next time? Me or Killua?"

Killua smacked himself in the face, hiding his cyan eyes from the world. He could see Leorio through his fingers back up in surprise. "W-What?"

"When we have sex! Should me or Killua be on top? Killua was on top tonight and this was our first time, but now I know how to do it and I wanna be on top next time! Tell Killua I should be on top next time!"

"Kurapika!" When in doubt, Leorio knew to call on Kurapika. Killua jumped on Gon and strangled him.

"You don't have to shout about our love life to the entire world!"

Gon flipped Killua on his back as Kurapika appeared in front of the doorway with the wide-eyed Leorio. Killua was not expecting the next question that popped out of Gon's mouth.

"Who's usually on top when you guys do it?"

Kurapika blinked as he knew he had walked in on the wrong part of the conversation. "Is it Leorio?" Gon continued to chatter on, not caring that he was asking personal questions. Killua was surprised Gon had even figured out they were an item. They tried to hide it as best they could, but Killua had tried to look for something in Leorio's room once. They didn't see him. But he saw more of them then he wanted to.

Killua simply looked up from the floor at the flustered Kurapika and Leorio. Killua scowled and said, "I'm on top."

Gon glared down at him. He looked so cute! Killua flushed slightly at the cuteness of the other. Then, he wondered what Gon was going to going to say before….

"_**Killua… I… Ah… erm…."**_

"_**Killua…. I… uh… it's nothing."**_

Killua and Gon argued as Leorio and Kurapika stood dumbfounded. They obviously never expected Gon _or_ Killua to "do the deed" for lack of a better phrase.

_He'll tell me when he's ready._ Killua thought with a small smile gracing his lips.

--

_Killua, aishiteru._

* * *

_Sorry for the bad ending. Its 12:30 am and I'm tired. But, I needed this! I was thinking about putting it in and when I ran it by some of my other friends; they thought it was really cute! They were all like, "put it in! Gon would be so kawaii if he did that!" I can imagine Gon doing that too. I'm not sure if the Killua killing the robber thing was necessary, but it helps you delve into Killua's mind as I see it. His lying nature and want for acceptance from Gon still continues at the age of seventeen, so that's why he doesn't tell Gon. _

_But, the writing got bad. I like the very ending though, with Gon afraid to say "I love you" to Killua. _

_Ne- Hey._

_Genei Ryoden- Phantom Brigade. _

_Chikushou- Damn it._

_Daisuki- I like you._

_Daisuki desu- I really like you. _

_Aishiteru- I love you. Truth is, this is never ever said in Japan. Precisely the why I wanted Gon to say it in Japanese. If you want more information as to __**why**__ the Japanese never say aishiteru then LOOK IT UP! Like I said, I'm tired… its 12:30… it isn't hard to find information. _

_Yaoi- Boy on boy love. –Squeal-_

_Ai- Love._

_Shonen- Boy._₪


End file.
